Parenting 101

There are so many things I want for my sweet children. Laughter, friends, excitement, love... At the top of my list is great parents. I want them to have the best parents in the world. Parents who can teach them that being who they are is better than trying to fit themselves into someone else's mold.Photo by Jessica Hills Photography
Some days I wish I could steal the scripts for Amy and Allan Matthews from Boy Meets World so I'd have a guide to follow. But I don't have a team of writers who write and re-write the scenes of my life. So what makes a good parent? Here's what I came up with.

Above all, let them know that you love them no matter what. I want them to know that there is nothing they could do that would make me love them with any less than my entire heart.

Give them rules to follow. And consequences for the times they don't. I often worry that Wes, my 2 year old, will forever resent me for the hours he spends in time out each week. My heart breaks at the sight of his tears. I hope that one day he'll have kids and finally realize how hard it was for me to make him sad.

Make them feel safe. At the moment Wes's greatest fear is the old lady from Tangled (the new disney movie about Rapunzel), well, lets make that ALL show with old ladies in them. He's terrified of them, I'm not really sure why. But I do my best to reassure him that they're only pictures, and they can't hurt him.

Put them first. It sounds like common sense, but it's amazing how easy it is to put the kids needs on the back burner sometimes. Especially if I'm halfway through the latest and greatest young adult novel.

Be an example they can look to. I have been found guilty time and time again of being a bad example. I can't tell you how many times I've screamed at Wes to stop yelling. A little ironic, no?

Let them make mistakes. I think this is one of the hardest ones. I always want my kids to have every advantage, and to not feel unprepared. But what I need to remember is that part of preparing them is letting them figure things out for themselves. They can't gain confidence in themselves if they never get the chance to accomplish something solo.

Take an interest in their interests. So no, it's not terribly exciting to play in a dark room with a flashlight all day, but the bottom line is that it's important to him.

Listen to what they say, and pay attention to what they do. Wes has a habit of saying yes to whatever you ask him, so you never really know what really happened. 'Wes, did you hit Scarlett?' ...'Yes' So I'm sure he's received some unjust punishments, and sometimes you can tell from how he reacts. Like I learned on Hitch, "90% of what you're saying, ain't coming out of your mouth." So pay attention.
Teach them to laugh. One thing that I learned from both of my parents was to not take myself too seriously. I learned it was ok to laugh and move on when something ridiculous happened. I think it's safe to say it was one of the most important lessons I ever learned.

I'm sure there are dozens of other things a great parent show know, but I'm hoping this is a good start. If you have any ideas for me, I'd love to hear them.

We're legitimate now. We're in the bakesale business

Tonight I am suffering from the 'stayed up too late watching tv with Tad, got something on my contact so my eye's red and sore, yet I still had to watch my kids and go to class' affliction. Yes, I hear it's going around. As a result I will be sharing with you, the viewers of my blog, a clip from Boy Meets World.
Two words.
Seriously Funny.

Trade in Bad Food for Better Food

10 easy food switches for an extra 10 good years
courtesy of Oprah

Out: Milk chocolate

In: Dark chocolate
Why: Dark chocolate (look for at least 60 percent cocoa) is a concentrated source of antioxidants, which protect cells from age-related damage; milk chocolate contains significantly smaller amounts. And chocolate's fat doesn't raise cholesterol. Preliminary results from my lab show benefits to blood vessels two hours after eating dark chocolate or drinking it in cocoa. Nibble an ounce, sip a small cup—the calories still add up.
Out: White bread
In: Whole grain bread
Why: Whenever you replace white flour with whole grains—in bread, cereal, pasta—it's a strike against aging. Soluble fiber, found in oats and barley, has been linked to lower levels of insulin and bad cholesterol (think: diabetes and heart disease), and insoluble fiber in whole wheat reduces risk of gastrointestinal maladies like diverticulosis. Check out bread made with the new albino whole wheat—it tastes like the real white thing.
Out: 1/4 of the sugar in a baking recipe
In: The same amount of nonfat powdered milk
Why: Reducing sugar in cakes, cookies, and bread will start retraining your taste buds to prefer less sweetness in your entire diet—a good antiaging goal, because in addition to weight gain and diabetes, chronically high intake of sugar can lead to glycosylation. This is a process in which sugar molecules adhere to protein molecules, potentially damaging cells, increasing inflammation, and contributing to the blockage of arteries.
Out: Diet soda
In: Water
Why: There is no better beverage than water to help you stay hydrated, which is important in keeping body systems running well. Diet soda quenches thirst, but some experts still worry that its artificial sweeteners—officially considered safe—may be linked to cancer. My main concern with them is that they propagate a sweet tooth, which leads to more sugar intake and the overall deterioration of the diet.Out: 1/4 of your meat
In: Lentils
Why: Saturated fat (which meat tends to have a lot of) can gum up arteries and speed you toward heart disease. Too little fiber (meat has zero) can accelerate the aging of the gastrointestinal system. Beans and lentils are the opposite of meat: lots of fiber and no saturated fat—and they provide protein. How can you lose?
Out: Regular yogurt
In: Low-fat or fat-free yogurt
Why: Dairy foods are a great source of calcium and vitamin D, which help keep bones from thinning. But the saturated fat in whole milk, cheese, and yogurt contributes to artery clogging. Switching to low- or no-fat dairy gives you all the benefits without the risks.
Out: 1/4 of your meat
In: Fish
Why: Fish is an ideal lean protein source, low in saturated fat. Certain varieties such as salmon are also high in omega-3 fatty acids—vital for heart and possibly brain health. Unfortunately, some species also contain contaminants: If possible, eat wild versus farm-raised salmon and limit albacore (white) tuna to one meal a week. If you're pregnant or nursing, check out the guidelines at www.epa.gov/ost/fishadvice/advice.html.Out: Bag of potato chips
In: Slices of apple
Why: An apple has no fat, few calories, lots of soluble fiber, and antioxidants. What does a potato chip offer? Pretty nil on the valuable nutrients score, and it's a great source of oil, calories, and salt. A good rule of thumb is to go with foods that come packaged by Mother Nature, i.e., apple (skin) versus chips (plastic bag), banana (peel) versus candy bar (wrapper). Both you and the environment will be around longer to enjoy each other.

Ten Things I Love About Tad

I love my dear, sweet husband. He's constantly making me laugh with his silly faces. There's no one I know who gives more of himself to people. Even aside from him being a wonderful husband and father there are millions of reasons that I love him. Here are a few.
1-He'll watch any movie or show at least once before he decides to hate it. Especially when I'm sad. He's also discovered shows like Psych and Veronica Mars that way.2-He never complains when I (or anyone else) asks him for help. He's the go-to guy when you need help moving!3-He's a horrible exaggerator who loves to get maximum impact when he's telling you his stories.4-He loves cheesy made for TV Christmas movies (although he doesn't like people to know that, so SHHHHHH)5-He's not afraid to like what he likes even if it's not 'cool'. He doesn't care if it's super popular or totally obscure, if he likes it he doesn't care what anyone else thinks. 6-He has horrible tastes in desserts. There's nothing I hate more than lemon flavored treats, and there's nothing he loves more. The best part about this is that I never have to worry if he's going to eat my last piece of cake.7-He thinks I'm the funniest person he's ever met. And he'd be right. 8-He'll eat anything I put in front of him, regardless of how bad an experiment it is. He's eaten some pretty sad dinners in the last 6 years.9-He's a perfectionist who can't leave well enough alone. I'm talking about a boy that gets upset about getting a 94 on a test. While it's occasionally exhausting, it's mostly endearing. 10-He's completely predictable, yet somehow always shocked when I prove that to him. Which I frequently do.

So tell me, what makes you love your man?